There was a time not that long ago when safe meant being in a job you knew you’d get paid for at the end of the month. It was knowing you could see your family and friends every weekend to make that job feel a little less shitty and having enough spare cash to buy yourself a take away and a few beers on a Friday night. There was a time not that long ago when safe was little more than being satisfied with existence.
Of course there have been some things that have suffered a sort of revolution since the virus hit. Spending time with your husband or wife, children, partner has become the norm – those people you maybe tolerated before, have become your only source of solace, for better or for worse. You’ve probably had to open up to them more than you ever have – maybe you’ve let your guard down just enough now for them to see – that something was bubbling underneath all of this time. They've probably only just noticed. But then again so have you.
Those you thought you could never survive without seeing, you’ve survived without. You miss them of course – but life does just go on and right now their safety is your priority – and who knows who this virus is actually out to get. It’s an invisible threat after all.
Maybe rather than feeding on the souls of lost men and women and those whose days were sadly already numbered, this virus is actually feeding upon the frenzy of modern living. Maybe it has instead taken issue with the travel, the pollution, the noise, the chaos, the lack of balance, the constant needs of the human race. So many say this is the first of many and maybe it will be if we don’t learn. What’s to say there’s not a lot we can take away from this intrusive, reckless and frustrating message from a higher being. That life was going to shit anyway – we just needed to see it for ourselves to truly believe there was another way. Now I miss people, but I don’t miss things. I miss experiences, but I don’t miss possessions. I miss hugs and human contact but I don’t miss the bullshit. Now life is a lot simpler – I see the flowers and hear the birds now like I don’t think I ever have. I care like I haven’t for a very long time, feel passion that I haven’t for years. Feeling is easier, I’m more tuned into my body, my needs, my wants – I realise I’ve been numb for years. I don’t feel happier, because I’m longing, but I feel more content with this – today, right here, right now. I can feel trouble brewing though as the lights start to flicker and people forget about the past months and move into the future of the ‘new normal’. Are we going to lose this? This freedom to feel, the freedom to be something new, to have grown from this. Is that an option? Or am I meant to simply return to how I was before. Because I think, for better or for worse, this has changed me. And I don’t want to return to life before the virus hit.
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